Not Perfect. . .

I want to be the first to admit that I am NOT perfect. I often have felt the pressure to put on the show of a life with no problems or mistakes. I've never wanted or been able to actually pull that kind of a facade off. But I feel like this could be a factor in why I am an introvert, quiet in groups, and would rather watch and listen than talk.

I think as a parent we feel that pressure even more. We don't want to be judged by others, or deemed to not be a good enough parent. So in turn we then put this pressure on our kids and ourselves to look perfect and not let others know when we struggle.

I was reminded of this a couple of weeks ago when I mentioned in a group of parents that Jaden's teacher had requested a parent/teacher conference. The immediate response by those there was "oh, really! We weren't asked for that." I could feel the wheels in their minds turning wondering what must be up for such a request, and felt judged as a parent by their questioning stares of what I must be doing wrong to have a child that needed a parent conference.

To be fair I'm sure some of my pressure comes from within as well. What if there is something wrong with me as a parent that has caused issues for my children. But I know when I sit and look at my life as a parent (while I freely admit I'm not perfect and definitely make my share of mistakes) that I love my kids and am doing all that I know how to for them.

I've come to the realization that no matter what we do as parents, our kids aren't any more perfect than we are. They have their strengths and weaknesses, and as parents we love them anyway. I hope that we can show "love" for other parents as well when they struggle instead of judging them.

But I digress. And I'm sure you are all wondering about the previously mentioned parent/teacher conference. So let me now admit, my kids aren't perfect either.
I had the conference yesterday, and after worrying about it for weeks, it actually went really well. I was so encouraged after talking to Jaden's teacher. His writing continues to be a stuggle for him (he still has issues with fine motor skills) and staying on task, paying attention to details, and speed are issues that he stuggles with. But she had great things to say about him as well, that he's a great reader and that she just loves to listen to him read as he uses expression, has nice flow, and just does a great job for his grade level. He's very quiet in class, won't ask questions when confused, and doesn't volunteer answers unless called on. But she commented on how Jaden continually shocks her with how smart he is, just when she doesn't think he understood something or wasn't paying attention she'll ask him something and he'll give great answers that surprise her with how much he knows. Now we just need to figure out how to get that knowledge consistently down on paper. Anyway, although he's testing on grade level we talked about the option of summer school for him, it's 3 hours a day for 3 weeks in July. Jaden thrives on schedule and his teacher thinks that having that structure and extra push in mid-summer will really help him succeed in returning to the classroom in the fall. The summer school is carefully set up to Not be a punishment, a behavior management scenario, or anything like that. Not only is it divided by grade level, but also by their testing scores so Jaden would be with others that are considered on grade level or close to it, and not in a room of students that aren't near his abilities. Anyway, after talking to her we think it could be a good option for Jaden this summer, and are leaning towards doing it (since he is on grade level it isn't required). So don't look at me with pitty or wonder what I did wrong to have a child in summer school. He's an amazing boy, and I couldn't be prouder of him. We're doing all we know how to help him succeed in a traditional classroom, which is his weakness, so that he can show off his strengths in other areas.